May 21 2014

Why Don’t I Just Shut Up?

 

Having a day where somebody has pissed you off?

Do you say something to them or not?

Did you inform them that your were upset by their comments or behaviour?

That is the quandary I often find myself in.
Why? Because 99% of the time, as soon as I speak my truth, bullying ensues. Granted the people around me are used to dealing with a person who was too scared to ever speak her truth.
But nowadays I really don’t like it when the person left feeling in the wrong is normally me. The person who feels they should not have spoken out , is me. But, if I don’t speak my truth, who then feels like a failure and week? Not them. Why am I not allowed to voice an opinion without being talked down to, not be able to get a word in edgewise, having to deal with somebody raising their voice very loudly at me and so on. What am I supposed to do? Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. Over the years this has been a tough thing for me to deal with.

I now ask myself the following:

  • Am I correct in feeling this way or did I just get out of the wrong side of bed this morning. If I got out the wrong side of bed, go and meditate.  If I am correct in feeling this way, go and meditate before responding.
  • Is this battle worth fighting? Either way, go and meditate.
  • Can I contact the person and be polite? Am I going to sound angry? First, go and meditate.
  • Am I willing to accept the bully tactics if they won’t enter into a grown up conversation? Perhaps the best thing to do would be to go and meditate.

In other words, why don’t I just shut up and meditate! <smile> It will then all become clear…………

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